What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
