i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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