o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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