Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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