And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
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