I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
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