I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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