she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
