***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
