Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
