so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I'm getting married
To pizza
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
