I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
