I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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