I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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