So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize