I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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