Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
