marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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