Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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