420 ftw
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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