I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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