Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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