If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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