found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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