yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
