We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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