and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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