That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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