we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
