sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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