I'm gonna have a badass scar
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
