if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
