using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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