So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
