you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
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