I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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