First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
