I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
