I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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