I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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