I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
