Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
And then the night went full on bisexual.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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