I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Randomize
