im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
