But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Randomize