two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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