I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
