i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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