What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
