whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
