im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
