butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
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