He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
