Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(208): View more from Idaho

I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.

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(760): View more from California

Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.

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(813): View more from Florida

the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'

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(573): View more from Missouri

You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.

(816): View more from Missouri

Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.

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(502): View more from Kentucky

I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.

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(254): View more from Texas

I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him

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(270): View more from Kentucky

I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.

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(440): View more from Ohio

I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?

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(310): View more from California

Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!

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