i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Randomize
