That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
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