i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
