Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
