he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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