not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize