im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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