Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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